Forgiveness

WARNING!!!!!!!!! THIS IS A VERY LONG READ.

So this is a deep topic and we all think we know what forgiveness is actually about, but do we?

Now let us start with the meaning of forgiveness.

As seen on Wikipedia, Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, let’s go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, forswears recompense from or punishment of the offender, however legally or morally justified it might be, and with an increased ability to wish the offender well. 

Long definition right? Yeah, I know. So do you think that before reading this you knew what it meant to forgive?

Some important questions about forgiveness. I asked some of the questions last week on twitter and well some of the answers I got were impressive, others were the normal stuff we experience within ourselves. I will answer from my point of view first.

1. Would you save someone who ruined your life?

I occasionally want to revenge but i find myself doing the right thing rather than allowing the devil win in my life... For me I would, it will be a hard decision but i know i would because i personally hate feeling guilty no matter what.

2. How often must we forgive?

We must forgive as often as possible. I try my best to forgive everyone who hurts me and when I realize I’m not able to forgive I get closer to them because I’ve realized it helps me forgive faster.

3. What if we do not forgive?

If you do not forgive, you are only hurting yourself. Imagine seeing the picture of someone who offended you or hearing the person’s name and your chest starts hurting. Lol. This is actually from a personal experience

4. Must I forgive if a person continues to hurt me?

Truth be told, humans will continue to hurt you until the day you die. You just need to avoid getting hurt the same way, if the person is hurting you via domestic or emotional abuse; I advise you steer clear of the person for your own good but forgive regardless.

5. If I forgive a person, do I stay in an abusive situation?

You do not stay in an abusive situation if you forgive a person. You only make yourself unavailable to the hurt that unforgiveness can cause. Like I said in Q4 if it’s domestic or emotional abuse steer clear. 

6. How do I forgive?

You forgive by realizing that we all make mistakes and let go of the situation that hurt you. Do not think about it continously. Just let it go.

Sometimes, I have to let someone know what he or she did to me in order to be able to forgive him or her. I am very vocal about my hurt, if you do something I do not like, I will definitely let you know (without having an argument about it)

7. How viable is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is very viable

8. Should a rape victim forgive her rapist?

I am not in the right position to speak about this but I believe you should forgive everyone who does badly to you because you also expect everyone you have wronged to forgive you.

9. Is forgiveness always possible? Or even always right?

Forgiveness is always possible and yes, it is always right. You are doing it for your freedom and peace.

10. What if I do not want to forgive?

If you do not want to forgive, that is on you. Because you will hold on to the pain of the past.

11. How quickly must I forgive?

As quickly as possible. For me, I just let the person know what they did wrong and it ends there.

12. What if I forgive and not forget?

This is kind of human nature. We rarely forget things that hurt us even if we have forgiven the parties involved.

13. How do I forgive myself?

By understanding that you are not perfect and somethings are beyond your control. Then promise to be a better person and work towards achieving that.

14. How do I know if I have forgiven?

When the thought of the situation or the person who offended you no longer hurts you.

In the everyday circumstances of life, we will surely be wronged by other people—sometimes innocently and sometimes intentionally. It is easy to become bitter or angry or vengeful in such situations.

We should pray for strength to forgive those who have wronged us, and we should abandon feelings of anger, bitterness, or revenge. We should also look for the good in others rather than focusing on their faults and magnifying their weaknesses. God will be the judge of others’ harmful actions.

Some people said they would so the guilty party can stay alive to see them flourish and all sorts.

Forgiveness is for our own growth and happiness. When we hold on to hurt, pain, resentment, and anger, it harms us far more than it harms the offender.

Making the choice to forgive and let go is much harder than holding on to hate, resentment, and anger. We want to get justice for the things that have happened to us, and the best way to do that is to hold on to the anger and never forget or forgive. We want those people to pay for the rest of our lives, and our anger and dislike of them ensures that they do – in our own mind. Of course, we keep ourselves in a state of negativity by doing so and the people we will not forgive move on with their lives while we stay stuck.

I hope you enjoyed reading this, what would you like me to write about next? 

THANKS FOR READING